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it happens mostly at night
23 July, 2009
# employ.3
boss: hey, can you find out what mailbox server j is on?
me: sure, what's up?
b: well, some people are on 10, others on 12, they're, some on 8, you know, its all done alphabetically.

I should pause here and note that it is not alphabetical (can you imagine the data shuffling that would have to happen everytime someone was hired / fired?) Yet, she's convinced in her mind that this is the way. this is very typical of her. i was only few weeks in at the time, so i shut up about that...

m: yeah, i'm on 10, right...
b: well, 9 and 10 are down right now so some people aren't getting mail.
m: right...
b: but j says she's on 12 and she's getting mail.
m: that's because 12's not down.
b: but j's last name begins with c, so she should be on 10.
m: but she's getting mail, and she knows she's on 12, and 12 is up.
b: well i think she's supposed to be on 10.
m: um...ok...
b: it's no big rush, but can you just let me know which server she's on?
m: ....

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07 July, 2009
# another scammer to play with
from them:

I am Barrister Grey Williams. I have been waiting for you to contact me for your conformable Bank Draft of $780.000.00 United States Dollars. Contact me for more details. Contact E-mail:bargreywilliams@gmail.com

reply from me:

you've been waiting? I'm not sure why, I haven't been told to contact you...at least not that I know of. I apologize because I suffer from acute and sporadic synaptical homo-amnesiatic terror syndrome, or A.S.S.H.A.T. syndrome as it's call here in the great Godly and Righteous country of America. The disease is horrible and causes huge lapses in memory. Just the other day I forgot the face of my own child!

What do you want first, my bank account number, or my social security number? I apologize as I have neither, because I am not a citizen and I don't have a bank account, just lots of cash lying around. so let me know what else I can give you to help out with this conformable transfer of funds.

thank you, and may God never strike you with ASSHAT syndrome as he has with me.

-Lawrence
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