i've decided to go two wheeled this summer, and possibly beyond. my car has some serious problems now, and i really don't feel like putting the money into repairing it. the gas tank leaks, and the lower link arm, basically an arm that helps connect the wheel to the car has somehow come free. i also need to get it inspected. my conclusion? well, last week was bike to work week and that i did, having been sick with over $2 per gallon gas prices. it just isn't worth it anymore. so, i biked to natick from allston - a 15 mile ride each way. and i realised i could do it. i wasn't bound to my car as badly as i thought i was. so now i've been biking on my 2001 Trek 1000 the last week or so to work. in the morning i bike downtown to back bay station, and take the commuter rail to natick, then bike to work. on the way back home i bike back to allston. when i get more in shape i'll bike both ways all the way. this will be tough, but worth it. as becky says, we'll both be hot by the end of the summer.

not having a car will suck for the consumers, though. i can't lug a 200 pound amplifier on a scooter with my bass. my bass i could bring though. either way, meh, i'm doing the right thing, however impractical it may be.

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i love my bike.

i hate my car.

i love my other bike.

that makes me hate my car more.

i love my scooter, even though i never get to ride it anymore.

that makes me realise i can get rid of the car i hate.

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i hope i fuck shit up tomorrowduring jury duty selection. i plan to talk about the government, and all it's evils. oh, and i will be hungover, cause i'm drunk now.

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somebody found my blog by googling my name. how ironic (and not in a hip way) that i googled my ex's name around the same time. sorry, honey, i was bored, and nostalgic. i cleaned out my bookcase.

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i got back on sunday night. during the day the whole family went down to virginia beach, and walked along the boardwalk. i never really feel like i fit in in public when i'm with my parents. i always feel i'm a little off, or weird, and not in the good way that i enjoyed for so many years. the general people were hot girls, (not enough) big muscle guys (aren't there always too many) old people, and trashy people. it's so horrible to be smart sometimes. they all look so content to not notice the military jets flying out of oceana, all the gas the jets were consuming, all the advertising that was surrounding us, the sweatshop clothes, the rampant meat consumption, consume consume consume. that's all it was. i bet that beach was beautiful 150 years ago, or even 400 years ago, before us white folk came and colonised it and fucked it up. it's horrible to be smart. i think i'm missing out on all the fun.

i'm looking forward to driving without A/C -sweating my testicles off. it's socially conscious sweat. the sweat that exists because i refuse to use my a/c. it's not quite as satisfying as the sweat that i get from rising my bike, but fuck it, i'll take it either way. cassie was fighting to stay awake in the car on the way back from the beach. she is adorable. my one year old niece. i can't wait to watch her grow up. she will outlive me. that's frightening in a way, as much as it makes logical sense. i wanted to smoke so bad that day.

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There was an old guy on the plane that i sat next to. he was in the air force at one time i gathered, but he never really talked about it. he was from north hampton, and was very happy about that from what i saw. he called the french sons of fatherless dogs because they wouldn't let the americans fly over france on their way to libya. what gives the americans the right? i couldn't open my bag of peanuts over new jersey. he helped me. it was embarrassing. the rest of the flight to baltimore he talked to me like i was his grandkid. i was glued out the window to the ocean. i always look out the window on planes. ever since i was a kid. he started asking me if there were any ships out there....like i was eight years old. "no", i said, and continued to watch out the window. after a 4 hour delayed layover in baltimore and 3 beers, i was in the back seat of the plane to norfolk. it was ghetto. southwest and their ghetto brown and yellowy planes. i sat next to an elderly couple from san jose. i wanted to get them to raise the roof with me on our delayed back seat airplane. we could have been the bad kids. but they were old and not into things like that. they wanted to nap. besides, i wanted to look out the window. i saw lightening after we took off. it was bright, purple and thick. just one line of it, straight down. i had to pay my phone bill online otherwise my service would get cut off. i started stressing about money. now there'll be blood in my stool. that always happens when i'm worried about money. my parents want to pay for the plane ticket down here. i'll have to let them. i don't like to, but i have to. at the birthday party, there was a little toy rolling around on the floor. it was obviously from another planet. people kept picking it up, and wouldn't let it roll around on the floor. when it finally made it on the floor, it rolled around, playing music, and lighting up. the music had a sweet sense of the phrase "mission accomplished, leader..." to it. i think my imagination has taken over. i've had two cigarettes in the past 48 hours. not bad. i bought four packs because they are so cheap. $3 a pack down here. it's going to be $6 soon in boston.

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