about 10 years ago in college i was talking to an old high school friend over the phone. the topic came to some of my gay friends and she muttered something along the lines of "they'll burn in hell". confused (yet sensing where the conversation was going) i asked her why, and she went on about how she had really connected with her inner methodist in college. i hung up, and had no desire to ever speak with her again. i had lost a friend not to religion, but to prejudice (and general retardation, if you ask me.)

well, she found me on facebook a couple weeks ago, and sent a friend request. i was ignoring it, hoping it would go away, until i got a message. here's how that went (she's in red, i'm in blue):

You must not check facebook very often. Log-on when you can - I'm dying to catch up!

August 13 at 10:34am
Hey,

Good to hear from you. I'm a little apprehensive to get back in touch with you after the last time we talked about 10 years back. I remember you saying some pretty offensive things concerning religion and homosexuality that I have great issue with and cannot forget. I have several gay friends and seeing the prejudices that they have to go through can be heartbreaking at times, especially when the core of them are based in religion, an institution that is supposed to promote love, compassion, and relief for oppressed people. I understand that it might be unfair for me to put this on you, and I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that your views on other people's lifestyles from a decade ago has taken a more positive route. But please understand that I have no room in my life for any forms of hatred or prejudice, even when it's veiled behind a mask of religion.

August 13 at 11:37am

Wow, well that's quite a "hi, and how are you". I guess I would answer you like this. I'm still a christian, and I still feel that homosexuality is a sin. However, that doesn't mean that I hate people - nor do I treat people unkindly. I wish I knew what I said ten years ago to give you that impression. I don't know about other "organized religions", but my faith calls me to follow the bible - which tells me to love all people. It's not my place to judge. Like anyone else's sin, it's between them and God. I do feel strongly about that. But I don't hate people. I do my best to treat all people the same.
I'm sorry if my views on the bible will keep us from catching up. I do hope that isn't the case. I would really like to know what you've done with your life.

August 20 at 9:22pm

Hi again,
I am going to presume that you read my last message, and have decided that you will not or cannot write me back. I just find it interesting that what you seem to be most upset with me about is intolerence of a different lifestyle - when you are unwilling to speak to me due to my choice of lifestyle(Christian). Isn't that, in itself, intolerant as well? I can't pretend to be something I'm not - or that I agree with a lifestyle choice that I do not. At the same time, I'll reiterate that I don't hate people - reguardless of their sexuality.
I had hoped we could reconnect, as we were such good friends in highschool. I'm here if you change your mind.
God Bless,

Today at 12:00pm

I don't really know how to respond to any of what you wrote, but i'll try to be more clear: homosexuality isn't a choice. a christian lifestyle is. but that's not what i'm intolerant of - i am intolerant of anyone who is judgemental of people without knowing them personally, there's a word for it - prejudice - and it's a problem i have with you, regardless of religion or choice of lifestyle. in your last message to me you claimed that it's "not your place to judge", yet a few sentences back you call homosexuality a sin...am i starting to make sense here? again, it has nothing to do with your religion, more your choice of intolerance, prejudice, and no doubt a little ignorance of homosexuality on the side. you're a very minor example of this - an extreme example of this would be the 'god-hates-fags' cult - but the same mindset is there. don't kid yourself.

that being said, there are many churches in new england that celebrate gay marriage (equal rights made this country great, right?) have gay priests, fly rainbow flags, and are generally just nice people because as religion should be, they believe in loving your fellow man, and being tolerant of 'all of god's children' regardless their walk in life. again, your prejudice has nothing to do with religion. don't let them tell you that it does.

for a while i was volunteering at a homeless shelter, and a fair amount of young, gay teenage boys would come through from time to time. they weren't on drugs, and they weren't committing any crimes. they had simply been thrown out or had run away from abusive parents and family who, (no surprise here) were hiding behind the angelic veil of untouchable religion and rejected their own children, instead of loving and accepting who they are, as i thought religion existed to do. until you experience this with your own eyes, and feel their pain and suffering firsthand, don't you dare call homosexuality a 'sin'.

yes we were good friends in high school, but somewhere along the line either you stopped thinking for yourself and let someone else do it for you, or you really did develop a prejudice intolerance for something you know so little about. i hope one day you look beyond the bible and start thinking for yourself. afterall that book was written thousands of years ago when slavery and genocide were common practice, has been translated countless times from forgotten languages, and has been misinterpreted over centuries.

because of all this, i have no desire to reconnect with you, the same as finding out that an old friend has become racist, or blindly extremist. i'm sorry, and i wish you could understand.

I'm hoping there won't be any replies (arguing with prejudice, especially when it's masked by religion is usually pretty pointless) but should there be, i'll be sure to post them!

sounddoc